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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Alot :)

ALOT has happened since my last (real) post. ;)

First, yes. I was laid off from my job. They told me that there wasn't enough work and that they were eliminating my position. I cried and went home and slept.

The weekend was pretty stressful. I just kept thinking, "What am I supposed to do now?" My life was FAR from perfect, but we were managing. Paying our bills, making plans. I had thought often about finding something higher-paying and quitting my job, but never getting laid off and being without health insurance or a paycheck. It sucks. It really sucks.

I toyed around a bit with going back to school, which I still may eventually do, but Doug and I have decided what is best right now is to find a job. Realistically, almost any job will do right now. So I've been job searching.

I went to my RE's on Monday for an ultrasound. When you're on fertility drugs, you need to be monitored by ultrasound to make sure you're not overstimulated or developing cysts or anything else dangerous. I fully intended, and attempted, to let the doctor's office know that I was losing my health insurance at the end of this month and that we probably wouldn't be trying to get pregnant anymore.

When I told the nurse how much it sucked because I felt like we were "so close" and that we were going to try IUI next cycle, she casually said, "Well, we can add IUI this cycle if you want." I was floored. First of all - I just said we're not going to be trying anymore because I'm not going to have medical insurance! Secondly - I didn't know that you, a nurse, could just up and decide to add fertility treatments at any time. Well, I was intrigued, to say the least. This could be our chance!

It took a little convincing/compromise/pleading, but Doug agreed that we should try IUI. We figure, let's give it our all - we've worked really hard for the last 10 months and it's not fair that my company just decides when and how we should be able to have a baby.

I don't like the thought that I may be one of those women on government assistance, pregnant and jobless and living off of our country's dollar. But it's highly unlikely that that will happen. That would be worst-worst-worst case scenario. Most likely, I will find a job fairly quickly, and be offered health insurance after 90 days. If this IUI does work and I do become pregnant before a new employer's health insurance kicks in, there are programs that would allow me to get maternity care.

I'm ecstatic that we're taking this step this month. At my appointment on Monday, when looking at my right side, the nurse said I probably have a few days until ovulation. There was one 11mm follie and some other smaller ones. I said, "Yeah, I'm a slow grower. I usually don't ovulate until CD16." Then she looked at my left side. "Whoa," she said. "You definitely won't ovulate as late as then this month. You have a monster follicle." A nice big ripe 18mm follie, ready for ovulation. Woo hoo! One follie also decreases the (already slim) chance of multiples even more, which is great. I'm thinking I'll get a +OPK on CD14 and ovulate on CD15, Friday. I'm supposed to call the doctor's office when I get that smiley face and make our appointment for the next day.

Doug is slightly disappointed that I could possibly become pregnant while he's not even there! Which is strange, and I can see how a man would be disappointed in that. Fertility treatments are an amazing thing that science has allowed us to do. But it certainly takes the romance, surprise and "naturalness" if you will, out of the whole thing. But, like I said to him - you gotta do, what you gotta do! We want a baby more than anything, and if this is going to get us one, then by God we're gonna try it!

I've spent the last few days cleaning, packing, job searching, applying for unemployment benefits and relaxing. It has actually been pretty terrible. When you have a job, all you can think about is sleeping in or wanting a day off. As soon as you don't have one anymore, you're bored to tears! And I can't even sleep in! The latest I got was 9am, which isn't bad. But it's usually 7 or 8am, which sucks. And going to bed at night hasn't been easy either. I haven't done anything all day in which to be tired from!

I'll update when I get my smiley face. I can't believe we're just days away from fertility treatments. It's so surreal. Really really hoping for a 1/13/12 baby. <3


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