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Monday, March 19, 2012

7 weeks!!

This post comes a little late, but a lot has gone on!

At 6w4d, I started bleeding. Not spotting, bright red gushing. It was petrifying. I was home alone with Mason and I truly thought it was all over. I called the doctor and they said to put my feet up for the rest of the night and come in the next morning, so I did. The 6w5d ultrasound showed our beautiful little bean, heart beating away, doing just fine. Measuring one day ahead with a heartbeat of 137 bmp. Little stinker. I guess it was a subchorionic bleed which my RE says occurs in 20% of pregnancies, so it's fairly common and harmless to the baby. It will eventually go away. The bleeding may occur again, it may not. But at least if it does, I will know what it is and not freak out!

How far along? 7 weeks. <3
Total weight gain/loss: None yet.

Maternity clothes? No, but possibly soon. None of my jeans or bras fit anymore :(
Stretch marks? Not yet.
Sleep: Most nights still need a Tylenol PM. Not getting up to pee as much though, if at all.
Best moment this week: Seeing that our baby was okay despite the bleeding. It was a scary 14 hours...
Miss Anything? Not feeling nauseous 24/7 lol. But it means a healthy pregnancy AND I haven't puked, so I'll deal.
Movement: Nope.
Food cravings: Fruit (especially apples), veggies (especially green beans) and cheese!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Eggs, hashbrowns, tomatoes, beef, bacon, lettuce.
Have you started to show yet: A little bit, yes.
Gender prediction: I'm undecided! Some days I think boy very strongly, but then the thought that it may be a little girl creeps in, so who knows!
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? Same.
Wedding rings on or off? Engagement ring on whenever I leave the house.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Nauseous, but happy.
Looking forward to: Our next ultrasound!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

6 weeks!!

Definitely just one! And I am happy about that. And our one is doing VERY well. At only 5w6d we got to see a beautiful flickering heartbeat, going strong at 110 beats per minute. I cried. I couldn't help it. It's real! It's really real! I knew it was (it being this pregnancy), but this just made everything so so real. I was in shock when we saw it - it's so early (it this time being the heartbeat), but this baby is just certainly an over-achiever!! With the early pregnancy test, the high beta numbers, everyone thought it was twins - nope! Just one strong beautiful over-achieving cooperative little baby!!

I have never been so happy. I cry whenever I think of the heartbeat. I could have laid there on that uncomfortable table with that also not so comfortable wand inside me for hours just watching that fast little flicker. It was beautiful. But alas, it had to end. But yay - in 2 weeks my mom and I will go back and the baby will look like a real baby!! I CAN'T WAIT! And that will be my last RE appt! I can't believe it. I had heard of girls "graduating" from their RE but never imagined doing so myself! I feel so so so lucky and blessed.

How far along? 6 weeks. <3
Total weight gain/loss: None, really. Hovering between 114 and 119, usually 116-117.

Maternity clothes? I still wear only PJs and I'm lovin it!
Stretch marks? Not yet (dot dot dot!!)...
Sleep: Still needing a Tylenol PM to sleep at night. Doc said that's fine, but I'm the only preggo he's ever met that isn't tired lol! And still getting up at *least* 3 times a night to pee.

Best moment this week: Seeing that BEAUTIFUL flickering heartbeat!
Have you told family and friends: Everyone knows! It's even Facebook official!
Miss Anything? Working, I guess. But I'm sure I will be soon and I will miss being home!
Movement: Nope.
Food cravings: Still green beans lol, but I haven't had them :(

Anything making you queasy or sick: Everything! I have to hold my breath in the kitchen. And the thought of eggs or little breakfast potatoes - both used to be a favorite! Now - BLECH!
Have you started to show yet: More than a heavier person would, yes. But most of it is just bloat since baby is only the size of a pea.
Gender prediction: I'm still guessing boy. Uncle Alex, Grandpa Bill and Daddy are all guessing girl. Grandma needs more time to think, lol.
Labor Signs: Nope.Belly Button in or out? Same.
Wedding rings on or off? Engagement ring on, mostly.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!
Looking forward to: Our next ultrasound in 2 weeks! (Well, 13 days now!)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

First ultrasound!

Well, as exciting as yesterday's ultrasound was, we STILL aren't sure if we're having 1 or 2! There is very obviously and most definitely 1 beautiful little bean in there (yay!), but the doctor said he saw "a hint of something else" and wants us to come back on Monday to "confirm fetal number".

I'm not going to lie. I'm a bit disappointed. I'm sure many people out there (especially those TTC) might think that's completely and utterly selfish and ungrateful. But, I think I just got attached to both. And with the early BFP and the high first beta - I was really, really expecting twins. I almost feel like I had twins and lost one. I'm sure a lot of it is just the hormones, and the exaggerated emotions that go along with pregnancy, but I can't help it.

A girl on my IVF board had her first u/s yesterday too, and found out that she is having twins. I cried and cried when I read that. I was supposed to find out I was having twins yesterday. I still might. But I'm thinking not. I truly feel like an asshole - all I've wanted for 18+ months is a baby. And we're having one! Why am I so upset? It's stupid. I will get over it. But I am just being honest. I truly had a mommy's intuition (not to mention other signs!) that there were 2 in there, and to find out that one of our babies probably didn't make it, saddens me, and I can't help that. I'm not choosing to feel this way. I just do.

Doug is very happy that there's (most likely) only 1. I think, even though the pregnancy already felt VERY real to both of us, that it's sinking in even more now that we saw our little "dot" on an ultrasound. And that's what it looks like at this point - an adorable little dot! My mom is calling it a "sweet pea", since that's what size it is now - about 3mm. My brother is calling it "a tiny". Haha.

The heart should be starting to beat very, very soon. I am soo hoping that we'll be able to see the little flicker at Monday's ultrasound - I will be 5w6d, so we might!

I'm still feeling really, really good, so I've started the job searching again. I have an interview on Sunday for a managerial position and I REALLY hope I nail it. It would be an awesome job - $30,000 with benefits. Yes please!

Will update soon with how the interview goes and how our 2nd ultrasound goes! <3

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