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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Day 18 of blog challenge...

Happy Valentine's Day! Me and the twins ;) spent the day relaxing, and my friend Jason came over to visit. It's our last day off of work. I'm not excited to go back, and it has nothing to do with how I'm feeling or the job itself. It has to do with the people.

I am EXTREMELY hurt and a little angry that not a SINGLE person from my work called, texted, emailed, Facebooked or even "liked" a status during this WHOLE 2 weeks that I was off. It really irks me. Especially since there's someone there that I did a LOT for while she was pregnant. Like organized a due-date pool, took everyone's money from our office and bought a million things off her registry for her shower, etc. etc. Whatever. What goes around comes around and now I just realize where I stand with everyone. I refuse to let this job or the people there stress me out when I go back. I just refuse. It's just a stupid job. And these little babies that are snuggling in are WAY more important than a stupid chocolate factory. So, I'm over it. Obviously not, but whatever.

On a happier note, I have been feeling some slight cramping over the last 2 days. Most significant today, although it's very mild. I can't help but get a little excited, of course.

And want to know a secret? I'm kinda wishing for twins! I know, I know. There's a million reasons not to. And it's not because I think it's "cool" or that it would be fun or easy. It's truly just because I'm just so darn attached to and invested in both these little blasts that I think I'll be disappointed if we "lose" one. And I don't think I'm the only one. It would be so hard - physically, emotionally, financially.. we don't have room in our house for twins. And there are all the risks of premature birth, etc. But - they are both our babies. Both our genes, our DNA, our flesh and blood. We will find out on March 5th, I believe, how many little beans are in there. That seems like a lifetime away!

My OHSS is significantly improved. I felt GREAT today, without any pain meds. The nurse was right - I was doing all the wrong things. THE INTERNET IS EVIL, DON'T LISTEN TO IT! Everyone said to up my salt intake and drink Gatorade, so I did, like it was going out of style. And I felt like I was going to die. Only 24 hours after cutting out salt AND Gatorade, and increasing my protein, I felt a MILLION times better. Stupid internet.

I POAS today - 2dp5dt - and trigger is out of my system, I believe. I didn't hold my pee for that long, but it was stark white, so I'm thinking it is. Which is good. Then I will know that when I really test, and it is positive, that it is real.

So, that it's it really. Nothing exciting will happen for a few more days now. At least for me that is - my friend Melissa found out today she is having a BOY! How exciting. A little bundle of blue. Now she can start shopping, decorating and thinking of names! Congrats, mama!

Day 18 - Besides Mother's Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?

That would have to be my birthday. Getting a year older just reminds me that I'm not where I thought I'd be by this age. :( (And if you don't think my birthday is a holiday, you're wrong hehe.)


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