I am EXTREMELY hurt and a little angry that not a SINGLE person from my work called, texted, emailed, Facebooked or even "liked" a status during this WHOLE 2 weeks that I was off. It really irks me. Especially since there's someone there that I did a LOT for while she was pregnant. Like organized a due-date pool, took everyone's money from our office and bought a million things off her registry for her shower, etc. etc. Whatever. What goes around comes around and now I just realize where I stand with everyone. I refuse to let this job or the people there stress me out when I go back. I just refuse. It's just a stupid job. And these little babies that are snuggling in are WAY more important than a stupid chocolate factory. So, I'm over it. Obviously not, but whatever.
On a happier note, I have been feeling some slight cramping over the last 2 days. Most significant today, although it's very mild. I can't help but get a little excited, of course.
And want to know a secret? I'm kinda wishing for twins! I know, I know. There's a million reasons not to. And it's not because I think it's "cool" or that it would be fun or easy. It's truly just because I'm just so darn attached to and invested in both these little blasts that I think I'll be disappointed if we "lose" one. And I don't think I'm the only one. It would be so hard - physically, emotionally, financially.. we don't have room in our house for twins. And there are all the risks of premature birth, etc. But - they are both our babies. Both our genes, our DNA, our flesh and blood. We will find out on March 5th, I believe, how many little beans are in there. That seems like a lifetime away!
My OHSS is significantly improved. I felt GREAT today, without any pain meds. The nurse was right - I was doing all the wrong things. THE INTERNET IS EVIL, DON'T LISTEN TO IT! Everyone said to up my salt intake and drink Gatorade, so I did, like it was going out of style. And I felt like I was going to die. Only 24 hours after cutting out salt AND Gatorade, and increasing my protein, I felt a MILLION times better. Stupid internet.
I POAS today - 2dp5dt - and trigger is out of my system, I believe. I didn't hold my pee for that long, but it was stark white, so I'm thinking it is. Which is good. Then I will know that when I really test, and it is positive, that it is real.
So, that it's it really. Nothing exciting will happen for a few more days now. At least for me that is - my friend Melissa found out today she is having a BOY! How exciting. A little bundle of blue. Now she can start shopping, decorating and thinking of names! Congrats, mama!
Day 18 - Besides Mother's Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
That would have to be my birthday. Getting a year older just reminds me that I'm not where I thought I'd be by this age. :( (And if you don't think my birthday is a holiday, you're wrong hehe.)
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