One good thing about music...

...when it hits you, you feel no pain.

My music playlist this morning included: What I Got (Reprise), Santeria and Garden Grove. I'm psyched about the Badfish (Sublime cover band) concert in 15 days.

I couldn't fall asleep last night. I was thinking, and worrying, about the HSG. 5 more "wake ups" as my friend Dianna calls it. I've just been thinking about how much it's going to hurt.. I know many of my friends have had it done. Everyone lived. And I think I have a pretty good pain tolerance. It's just new. Something I've never done before. And with the discomfort of Monday's vaginal u/s, and people telling me it's MUCH worse than that - I'm nervous. Very, very nervous.

It seems it will be a sunny, fun weekend. Hopefully it will help keep my mind off of Wednesday.

Monday not-so-fun day

On Friday night I started having some pelvic pain. It was reminiscent of a night back before Christmas. The pain subsided, but I had horrible cramps all weekend. Monday morning I wasn't feeling great, but went to work anyways. I ended up having the pain again and my mom rushed me to the ER.

I was there for 7 hours without food, water or even ice chips. I got to hear the elderly man in the room next to me get a catheter put in. My legs were hairy and I was on my period. It was a ball.

I had a urinalysis, blood was taken, and they did a pelvic exam. They decided to go ahead and do a vaginal u/s, which showed a small cyst on my left ovary that had ruptured. There was some fluid in my abdomen as well.

I had had a cyst rupture when I was 13. That pain was much worse, much more sudden and strong. This wasn't the same, but I guess it doesn't always feel the same.

They gave me some pain meds and an IV of fluids and then sent me home. I took Tuesday off of work to rest. I've been sore and exhausted, and have had a headache or migraine every day since.

My OBGYN is still waiting for the u/s results to be sent to her from the hospital. She's concerned since I told her I had the SAME pain last month, that these cysts might be a problem.

I'm convinced I have endo. My mom and Aunt had it. My Aunt had several m/c and was in the process of adopting before she finally conceived. My cousin also had trouble getting pregnant. I was only 10 when I started my period (a risk factor in itself) and this is the 2nd time I've been officially diagnosed with having a ruptured cyst. My periods are also becoming increasingly painful. Some other symptoms of endo: hypoglycemia, anxiety and depression. Check, check and check.

I have my HSG scheduled on Wednesday, my OBGYN says to go ahead with it. I also meet with the RE that day. Hopefully if I present to him all of this evidence, he will be more willing to perform a lap on me to diagnose endo. I will be THRILLED if I don't have it, but I really think that might be the problem keeping us from conceiving.

I'm nervous as shit about the HSG, but if it helps us or at least gives us more answers then I'm all for it.

5 more days. Wait, wait, wait.

..

CD2 today, and kicked off BBC again. Fun stuff.

I'm in some pretty bad pain and thinking of leaving work to go to the Immediate Care Center. I just don't know if I can. :(

No such luck.

I had really hoped this would be our cycle, but it looks like we're moving on to Cycle #8.

We have some testing we need to get done this month, it's not going to be fun, it's not going to be easy, but it is necessary and important and I'm glad we're taking these steps.

A November baby will be even better than an October baby. :)

And congrats to my friend Britts, who also got her BFP! Congrats hun. <3 <3

Today.

Today is a really rough day for me. I've done great all day, but after lunch I started doing too much research -- Google is bad when you're trying to get pregnant (and can't)!!

Most stats I've found have led me to believe that if it takes you longer than 6 months to get pregnant, it either won't happen for a long time, won't happen without help (fertility treatments), or won't happen at all.

One study (715 people responded):

1st month trying -- 243 people (34%)
2-6 months -- 192 people (27%)
7+ months -- 80 people (11%)
Needed fertility help -- 59 people (8%)
Got pregnant on accident -- 141 people (20%)
 
Another study (2,899 people responded):
 
 
50% got pregnant within 3 months or less.
12% got pregnant within 3-6 months.
6% got pregnant within 6-9 months.
5% got pregnant within 9 months to 1 year.
7% got pregnant within 1-2 years.
8% got pregnant after 2+ years TTC.
13% "other" (chose to adopt, etc.)


Yet another study:
 
30% get pregnant the 1st month.
29% get pregnant within 3 months.
21% get pregnant within 6 months.
5% get pregnant within 1 year.
6% get pregnant within 3 years.
2-4% get pregnant within 4 years.
And I guess the 5-7% rest of the folks either take 4+ years, or don't conceive at all. Or adopt.

So as you can see, in each study most got pregnant within 6 months. After that, the chance of conceiving decrease dramatically. And only one of those studies took into account fertility treatments (Clomid, Femara, IUI, IVF, Gonal F, injections, etc.)

All of us gals have heard over and over, "It can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive." But I don't think I believe that anymore. From the studies above, it takes MOST couples 6 months to conceive (at most). After that - you either need some REALLY good luck... or a good Reproductive Endocrinologist.

Some quotes I like:

"Millions of couples suffer from infertility. So why the FUCK is everyone pregnant but me?"

"If you can't find hope, look in a new direction."

Cute onsie: "My parents spent $30,000 on fertility treatments and all I got was this lousy onsie."

"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be... because of all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap!"

"To achieve the life you want, you must first give up the life that you have."

"I hope that we can be happy where we are, be grateful for our blessings now, accept the challenge that is ours and make the most of it, and not be envious of others."

"Never give up, because you never know what tomorrow will bring."

"You cannot have a testimony without a test."