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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Dot dot dot...

So, obviously, even though I did not want to move on to cycle #14, my body had other plans and here we are.

I think I'm ovulating, and it's kinda crazy that the beginning of this cycle went by so quickly. I'm glad. But this is the stressful time of the cycle. From ovulation to AF. No matter what I do, I cannot rid myself of anxiety and stress. No matter what. I've tried. I'm at a loss. I'm stressed, I'm depressed, I'm frustrated and I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do or to try anymore.

For the last thirteen months - over a YEAR, I have had a few days of being "almost pregnant". Where you just *know* that you are.. I want to be *really* pregnant this month.

For 8 months we tried natural TTC - Preseed, Mucinex, Soy Isoflavones, Bromelain, temping, checking CP and CM, charting and OPKs. Month #9 was Femara. Month #10 was Femara/IUI. Then we tried the "natural" approach - NOTHING. "Relaxing". No temping, no OPKs. No Preseed or anything. I simply charted my AF and my CM to keep track of the days. We didn't do special positions, we skipped days when we wanted to and had sex on days that we didn't have to.. we tried to just "enjoy" each other. We tried that "natural" and "relaxed" plan for THREE months. Aren't you supposed to spontaneously become pregnant when you stop "trying"??? Well, that didn't work for us. Let's look at the math, shall we?

1. Doug has a healthy 5 year-old son.
2. I produced eggs that resulted in a healthy 3 year-old boy.
3. Doug's first sperm sample was 40 million, very normal and healthy in all ways.
4. Doug's second sperm sample was 200 million, astronomically awesomely healthy and perfect.
5. All of my bloodwork testing and the HSG came back perfect.
6. The average couple gets pregnant in 3-6 months. We've been trying for 3 TIMES that long.

What does that equal? NOTHING. It makes no sense. I don't get it.

Besides TTC, nothing is going on. Work is okay. Doug's job is stressful. Mason's starting Kindergarten. I have IBS now. Blah.


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