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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The beginning

I started this blog a long, looong time ago, but it was always really just senseless chatter. I'm hoping now to turn it into a place to share my TTC journey, (which is hopefully a short one!!) and eventually a place to blog about a new addition to our family!

I always wanted children when I was younger. Five to be exact! But after several relationships where the man turned out to be someone other than who I thought he was, I started to get skeptical that I would ever meet a man I saw fit as being the father of my children. For a long time I wasn't really sure if I'd ever have kids. And then, I met the man of my dreams...

Doug is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He truly makes me strive to be a better person, a better girlfriend. I have a lot more patience, and a willingness to do things for him that I wouldn't have done for others -- like the dishes!! :D Having Mason in my life has been a beautiful blessing as well. Kids have a tendency to put a smile on your face no matter what's going on!

I was very naive about the TTC (trying to conceive) process! I really thought that if we just simply stopped NOT trying, that it would happen. Little did I know there is only a 25% chance of conceiving each month you try. And after age 25 (I guess I'm old!!) the chance goes down to 20%. This means it usually takes *most* couples several cycles to actually get pregnant. The first month we tried, I charted everything perfectly (or so I thought) and hoped for the best. I over-analzyed every single "symptom" while I was waiting to find out if we were lucky that month or not. When it turned out we weren't, I was extremely disappointed. I let myself bum for a day or two, then picked myself up -- next month was another shot!

Well, next month is upon us! Doug and I are currently waiting to see if this month did the trick. I'm much more relaxed this month -- you do all you can do, and then there's nothing to do but wait. It's hard not to be in control of something you want so badly, but it's really out of our hands. Whatever happens, happens. And if this isn't our month then there's always next month!

I'm extremely happy having Doug in my life. Him and Mason are more than enough to make me happy, and I'm grateful for them. Having a baby with Doug and becoming a mother would just be icing on the cake. :D


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