Quick update!

This is going to be really short, and I'm so sorry about that, but my computer has a virus so I'm using a library computer and there are some special (smelly) people in here, so I won't be staying long! :(

So, unfortunately, our Femara/IUI cycle didn't work, despite having 200 million amazing spermies :( It was a really, really, really big disappointment.

The cycle after that, #11, ended in me getting my period as well. I thought I "relaxed" really well last cycle, so.. that was a bummer.

I've REALLY tried to relax this cycle. I went camping, I've been sleeping in and taking naps (being jobless has at least one perk!).. I've been working out again (Yoga, P90x, Jillian Michael's "Hot Bod in a Box") and drinking protein shakes, as well as taking my prenatal and drinking Red Raspberry Leaf when I think of it. I've also been using Serenity's Natural Progesterone Cream during this 2ww. Today is 7dpo. I feel the usual twinges and strange cramps, but GOD knows - that happens everything month.

A little bit on my latest research: "overactive immune systems and infertility". Someone had said in a forum that their doctor said they had this.. I thought hmm.. I've often thought, "God.. the sperm and egg MUST be meeting.. there has to be a reason why the embryo isn't implanting!" This could, essentially, answer this problem. I have a lot of auto-immune disorders in my family - Celiac's Disease, Lupus.. in essence with these conditions, your immune system acts it's self. It can also attack an embryo as a foreign object. Apparently it's a simple blood test to test your NK (natural killer) cells. The treatment would be "intralipids".. they hook you up to an IV for 90-120 minutes. From what I understand, it pumps into you the types of cells that would be in an embryo.. It's a little confusing, but it makes sense. They would do this 4-5 days before anticipated ovulation, and 4-5 weeks after a BFP. I think once I get a job and insurance again, I will look into getting this testing. It couldn't hurt.

On the job front - I had a second interview at this neat place on Friday, and I should hear something this week. Fingers crossed!

Our new house is awesome! We are SO much more relaxed here - I'm hoping that helps TTC as well.

Camping was really fun. Something about the smell of a campfire and the sounds of crickets that make for the perfect relaxing environment.

CONGRATS KITTEN!  I love you! <3 <3 <3

So, that's that. Nothing too exciting. Hopefully my computer will be fixed and I can get back to blogging soon!!

Love to all you gals! xoxo

Edited to add: I just took 4 books out of the library: Waiting for Daisy, Making Babies, Inconceivable and The Infertility Cure. I'm tired of books/articles/websites on "how to get pregnant" -- I've read them ALL! Now I'm more into books on how to deal with your infertility. :)

Fingers crossssssSSSssssssed!

Today went great! Just a quick update, I'll add some pics and some more flair tomorrow. ;)

It was so quick and easy! I got to the doctor's office a bit before my appointment time, 10:30am. I "emptied" my bladder, and got half-nakey and settled into the exam room for an ultrasound.

It felt like I waited for the nurse foreverrrrr. It was about 15 minutes. She came in with my washed "specimen" and told me our numbers - 200 MILLION!! With 75% motility. This is amazing. For Doug's initial analysis in January, his count was 40 million, which is still double what the "average" that they like to see is (20 million). She said 75% were moving, and moving really well. I was ecstatic about these great numbers.

I had to sign my name on everything. The cup that the specimen was in. Lots of paperwork. The packaging of my catheter. This is all to ensure (I'm sure) that you're getting the correct specimen! She now showed me all of my signatures and by golly, they were indeed mine, so that's good. ;)

Next came the ultrasound. The follicle on my right had started to shrink - 11mm on Monday, 9mm today. She switched the left side. There was my big monster follicle. And wait a second... what is that? She said. ANOTHER monster follicle. A 20mm and a 25mm!! Most likely the bigger one will release and the smaller one will start to shrink. But there is a possibility that they could both release.

The IUI itself felt like a slightly crampy and longer pap smear. First she inserted the speculum. Then she began the long process of hunting around for my cervix. I mean, she could see it, but for some reason when she would insert the catheter, it was hitting a wall. She had me cough twice to bring the cervix down further and straight. She ended up having to curve the end of the catheter into a "hook" to get it to go in right. There was no pain, some cramping but not horrible by any means. She got everything into place and deposited/injected the sperm. She slowly pulled the catheter out and inspected it to make sure she got all the little swimmers out. Then she instructed me to lay on the table for 10 minutes and then I could get up, get dressed and was all set to leave.

I was there for about an hour total. I've been reading so many first time IUI success stories. The main factor seems to be staying positive and distracted during the 2ww. I read that *a lot*. So that's what I'll be attempting to do! It's not going to be easy, considering I'm jobless. But next week is supposed to be really nice out, like REALLY nice out. So I'm thinking I'll head to the park or the beach with my friends, visit some girlfriends and their babes and just do whatever else I can to stay busy.

I came home after the procedure and laid down for about an hour. I'm pretty crampy and sore, but that could definitely be ovulation pain. It's not easy to pop out one or two big eggies! ;)

Keep your fingers crossed for us! Send lots of good thoughts/prayers/vibes/mojo this way, please!! <3 <3

Gasp!!!

A smiley face! A positive OPK! Meaning I'm going to ovulate tomorrow!!

Tomorrow is the big day! IUI day! I'm shocked - was not expecting a positive today. Ackkk!

Scared/nervous/excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stolen!

I stole this from from "M" at This Space for Rent.

It's a specimen cup and the catheter/needle used for IUI. You can read more about the procedure here.

Here's hoping that it does = a baby!!!!!!! <3 <3

Alot :)

ALOT has happened since my last (real) post. ;)

First, yes. I was laid off from my job. They told me that there wasn't enough work and that they were eliminating my position. I cried and went home and slept.

The weekend was pretty stressful. I just kept thinking, "What am I supposed to do now?" My life was FAR from perfect, but we were managing. Paying our bills, making plans. I had thought often about finding something higher-paying and quitting my job, but never getting laid off and being without health insurance or a paycheck. It sucks. It really sucks.

I toyed around a bit with going back to school, which I still may eventually do, but Doug and I have decided what is best right now is to find a job. Realistically, almost any job will do right now. So I've been job searching.

I went to my RE's on Monday for an ultrasound. When you're on fertility drugs, you need to be monitored by ultrasound to make sure you're not overstimulated or developing cysts or anything else dangerous. I fully intended, and attempted, to let the doctor's office know that I was losing my health insurance at the end of this month and that we probably wouldn't be trying to get pregnant anymore.

When I told the nurse how much it sucked because I felt like we were "so close" and that we were going to try IUI next cycle, she casually said, "Well, we can add IUI this cycle if you want." I was floored. First of all - I just said we're not going to be trying anymore because I'm not going to have medical insurance! Secondly - I didn't know that you, a nurse, could just up and decide to add fertility treatments at any time. Well, I was intrigued, to say the least. This could be our chance!

It took a little convincing/compromise/pleading, but Doug agreed that we should try IUI. We figure, let's give it our all - we've worked really hard for the last 10 months and it's not fair that my company just decides when and how we should be able to have a baby.

I don't like the thought that I may be one of those women on government assistance, pregnant and jobless and living off of our country's dollar. But it's highly unlikely that that will happen. That would be worst-worst-worst case scenario. Most likely, I will find a job fairly quickly, and be offered health insurance after 90 days. If this IUI does work and I do become pregnant before a new employer's health insurance kicks in, there are programs that would allow me to get maternity care.

I'm ecstatic that we're taking this step this month. At my appointment on Monday, when looking at my right side, the nurse said I probably have a few days until ovulation. There was one 11mm follie and some other smaller ones. I said, "Yeah, I'm a slow grower. I usually don't ovulate until CD16." Then she looked at my left side. "Whoa," she said. "You definitely won't ovulate as late as then this month. You have a monster follicle." A nice big ripe 18mm follie, ready for ovulation. Woo hoo! One follie also decreases the (already slim) chance of multiples even more, which is great. I'm thinking I'll get a +OPK on CD14 and ovulate on CD15, Friday. I'm supposed to call the doctor's office when I get that smiley face and make our appointment for the next day.

Doug is slightly disappointed that I could possibly become pregnant while he's not even there! Which is strange, and I can see how a man would be disappointed in that. Fertility treatments are an amazing thing that science has allowed us to do. But it certainly takes the romance, surprise and "naturalness" if you will, out of the whole thing. But, like I said to him - you gotta do, what you gotta do! We want a baby more than anything, and if this is going to get us one, then by God we're gonna try it!

I've spent the last few days cleaning, packing, job searching, applying for unemployment benefits and relaxing. It has actually been pretty terrible. When you have a job, all you can think about is sleeping in or wanting a day off. As soon as you don't have one anymore, you're bored to tears! And I can't even sleep in! The latest I got was 9am, which isn't bad. But it's usually 7 or 8am, which sucks. And going to bed at night hasn't been easy either. I haven't done anything all day in which to be tired from!

I'll update when I get my smiley face. I can't believe we're just days away from fertility treatments. It's so surreal. Really really hoping for a 1/13/12 baby. <3